Red Rover! Red Rover! Send
by RemysQueenofHearts
Summary: Okays so here is the fourth installment of the "Sakura captive" series! And the crew is playing Red Rover. Pein's logic is that if the game is known as being harmful then maybe...just maybe he won't be hurt as a result. Oh well I guess one day he will learn to just refuse to join in any plot our favorite pinkette has up her mischievous sleeve.


**Author's Note:**

Hola readers! How are you…no I am not trying to calm you all down because of how long this one took…put down the keyboard! There now that I have inflated my self-importance because the lack of my stories and myself is enough to cause you lovely readers some distress…if it's not, allow me to remain blissfully unaware. And for those who actually read my profile and saw the date I was supposed to post this on, sorry. College didn't want me to spend time writing; it wanted me to GET INVOLVED! *Le gasp! * So here is the extremely late fourth installment of the series…or something.

Disclaimer: I own Naruto! Wait…that's not right…hmm..I don't own nothing! Still doesn't sound right…

"Itachi-kun~" Sakura's melodic voice came echoing down the hall. Pein's head snapped up. Then he winced; his concussion wasn't fully healed yet. But his injured head would have to wait for more gentle treatment if Sakura was searching for the blasted Uchiha. Pein bolted from his office, hoping to find the pinkette before she found the weasel.

"Now Itachi-kun you have to be gentle and go slow, it's my first time," and with that phrase echoing down the halls of the base, suddenly every Akatsuki member was in a panicked frenzy to find her.

"Itachi-kun! That doesn't go there!" came her cry from the dining room. Pein rounded the corner, that much closer to his destination. "Yes! Yes! YEEESSS!"

At once every Akatsuki member burst into the kitchen expecting to find Sakura pinned down onto the table or up against the wall. The pinkette jumped in alarm as they poured in giving Itachi the opening he needed to finish before her. Pein sighed as she cried in dismay, throwing her cards at the smug-looking Itachi seated across from her.

"That's cheating! I was distracted! You guys are jerks! I almost had him," Sakura's lower lip was in a firm pout as she glared at the Akatsuki members, who all sighed in relief to discover their blossom remained innocent.

"Double entrendres am I right?" Kisame said with a smirk.

"I have no flipping idea what the fudge you're talking about," Hidan stated watching as Sakura continued to throw the rest of the deck at the elder Uchiha. She paused momentarily to beam up at the Jashinist congratulating him on still not cursing. Then the Ace of Spades firmly smacked into Itachi's forehead. "Dang beeotch! That was a darn bad asssstronaut freaking shot!" Hidan cackled. Kakazu smacked him upside the head, silencing any other praises he could utter. The recent shift in Hidan's speech was more irritating than when he sweared worse than a person with Tourettes.

"Nose goes on cleaning that up, un," Deidara muttered looking at the now scattered improv game of fifty-two pick up.

" Nose goes!" Sakura screamed as she slapped a hand to her face. Itachi, much to everyone's surprise except said rosett, obediently followed with one elegant finger pressed to the side of his nose. This action prompted the other members to race to press a finger to their nose, hoping to not be last. Well…except for Hidan who was still recovering from Kakazu's smack. "Hidan! YOU LOST!" Sakura cried gleefully.

"Clean up the cards, Hidan," Pein ordered the Jashinist, who began to colorfully "not" swear. How he managed to make the replacement cuss words sound as bad as the originals, was a talent Pein wished the silver-haired man did not possess.

"Pein~~ I'm bored!" came Sakura's usual plea. Her bright sea green eyes looked up at said overly pierced man, oddly watery as she pleaded. He sighed, he was doomed, but he didn't have the ability to tell her no.

"What do you want now?" he asked curtly trying to be resigned to his fate of being her personal punching bag.

"To go outside and play." Pein looked at her skeptically. That wasn't good.

"Play what?" Here she mumbled inaudiably. A sense of dread filled him. How horrible was this idea that even she realized it probably wasn't a good idea. What relatively harmless game did she want to play now that would ultimately end in disaster for him? She murmured again, just as quietly as before, finding a sudden interest in her painted red toes. "Sakura! Say it so I can actually hear," he snapped losing his patience due to the stress she was causing him.

"Red Rover!" she shouted when Pein looked about ready to snap from the tension. The excessively pierced leader stood still in shock. That wasn't a relatively harmless game. That was a relatively harm_ful_ game. So maybe, he thought happily it would turn out harmless since that was how fate seemed to work for them lately.

"Okay Sakura."

"Hooray!" she cried while the rest of the Akatsuki looked on in horror.

"Are you flipping with me! Cuz this is seriously not effing funny! Seriously."

.

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….PaGe BrEaK….. ^_^

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…

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"Alrighty!" the pinkette cheered, "Who's gonna be the team captains?" The dreaded Akatsuki members looked at the girl in shock when she didn't immediately jump up to be one.

"I will be one," Itachi monotoned. Sakura's face lit up and she dubbed him 'Captain 42.' Pein immediately raised his hand and was dubbed 'Captain 27 and a half' The Akatsuki shook their heads simultaneously before deciding not to question.

"Okays! Now, rock, paper, scissors it out to see who picks first!" Pein narrowed his ringed eyes at the emotionless Uchiha. "One, two, three! Rock! Paper! Scissors!" They both smacked their upturn palms and formed the appropriate hand symbol. He had paper; Itachi had rock. He smirked. "Ooh…Pein you lost." His smirk dropped. How? Itachi looked triumphant as if he knew this would happen. So he decided to voice his question. Sakura looked confused and tilted her head slightly at his query. "Well, Itachi picked rock and rock always wins." Pein felt his eye twitch.

"That's not effing fair, Pinky," Hidan stated. Sakura whirled on him in indignation asking him to clarify. "Everyone knows rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper, and paper beats rock!"

She snorted, "Would you mind explaining exactly how paper beats rock?" Her pretty face was smug as if she knew something they didn't. Hidan opened his mouth to explain, but was silenced with a delicate, petite hand. "Everyone says the same thing; that paper would wrap around rock and trap it. Somehow. Well that's a load of crap! Rock would tear that up in like two seconds!" Pein sighed. Itachi looked more arrogant than usual. And the rest of the Akatsuki face-palmed.

"Sakura," Sasori started lightly, "The game works because none of the parts are over powered. Each can be defeated by another." The members nodded sagely. The pinkette, however, just shook her head as if they were too simple-minded to be taught.

"I pick—"

"I am going first," Pein interrupted the Uchiha abruptly. "I am the Leader, therefore, what I say goes."

"Pein! That's cheating!" the now sullen rosette cried. Itachi slowly activated his Sharingan, a technique used to intimidate weaker men. Unfortunately for him, Pein wasn't one.

"I pick," he paused for dramatic effect, "Sakura." Itachi's glare intensified and if looks could kill, Pein would be a stain on the ground.

"Kakazu," the raven-haired man bit out.  
"Kisame," came the equally cold reply.

"Zetsu."

"Hidan."

"Tobi." Each response grew colder and harsher from the one before it.

"Sasori."

"…" Itachi frowned and glanced at the blonde man that was left. "My team is done. You take the Barbie." Pein grimaced and looked to the pinkette standing next to him for help. Aforementioned Barbie looked righteously affronted by the exchange.

"Itachi," came her whine, "the teams have to be even!" The weasel held her gaze for several seconds before resignedly giving in.

"Hn. Barbie."

"Hey, un! Don't came me that, yeah."

"Shut up, you stupid ditch! For J-man's fudging sake!" With that the teams huddled up to discuss 'battle-plans' as Sakura put it.

.

…

…..

….pAgE bReAk…

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Pein stood with his team, which consisted of Sakura, Kisame, Sasori, Hidan, and himself and which, Sakura had promptly dubbed the 'Discombobulated Lollygaggers*' because and he quotes, "Those are really funny words!" She also named the other team, consisting of Itachi, Zetsu, Deidara, Tobi, and Kakazu, the 'Brouhaha of Batrachomyomachy,*' which none of them decided to question because of how proud she looked.

"Red Rover, Red Rover send Sasori right over," came the mix of monotone and cheerfulness as the other team went. Sasori sighed from the other side of Sakura, whose other hand was firmly clasped within Pein's. The red headed puppeteer walked calmly over and bumped the linked hands of Tobi and Zetsu, not even pretending to try and break through.

"Sasori!" the rosette cried in irritation from beside him, "At least try to play with us!" The man shrugged before standing at the end next to Tobi. Sakura huffed angrily.

"Who should we get to come over?" Kisame asked as he filled Sasori's gap beside Sakura. The four remaining members huddled up, Hidan still 'not' swearing at the puppet.

"Deidara should be easy enough," Pein said, really only for Sakura benefit as she was still fuming at Sasori's apathy. It worked. She beamed up at him before seconding his pick.

"Alrighty! Reform the line! Reform the line!," she cried, as they all formed the line again all staring at her with confusion. "Red Rover, Red Rover send Deidara right over!" three of the four members shouted, though Hidan's included more 'non' curse words and looked sheepish when he realized he was shouting. Pein rolled his eyes, he would not shout, no matter how much Sakura begged. Deidara charged at Pein and Hidan's linked hands, only to be stopped, looking utterly ridiculous. Sakura giggled happily at his irritated huff before the blonde man stood next to Hidan.

The game went on, fairly smoothly, the only mishap so far was when Tobi foolishly called for Kisame to come over, which brought the entirety of the 'Brouhaha of Batrachomyomachy' to the ground as he charged through. Pein was happy at the moment because it looked like he was right about the game being harmless. His team of discombobulated lollygaggers was winning as only Zetsu and Itachi remained on the other team. On his right stood Sakura, Tobi, Deidara, and Sasori and on his left were Hidan, Kisame, and Kakazu.

"Red Rover! Red Rover! SEND ITACHI RIGHT OVER!" the entirety of the 'Discombobulated Lollygaggers' shouted getting really into the game. Said man jogged casually over to the line, aiming at Pein and Sakura's hands. Her soft hand squeezed his in anticipation as the raven haired man got closer. When it happened…

Itachi swerved at the last second, crashing into Sakura and Tobi's hands. Their fingers slipped and he broke through dragging the entire line with him. Sakura shrieked as she lost her balance. However, Itachi clasped her slender wrist with his hand and yanked breaking her hand from Pein's who stumbled. The Uchiha wrapped an arm around her waist and disappeared with her in a flurry of raven feathers. Pein barely had time to register this when the combined weight of Kisame, Hidan, and Kakazu slammed into him, smashing him into the ground, Hidan mixes swears and 'not' swears in a colorful barrage of filthy language that would make a seasoned sailor blush.

Pein's last conscious thought was how he was going to murder Itachi, very slowly and extremely painfully and that he was a fool for thinking it wouldn't end this way.

Author's Note:

* So I was looking for awesome team names and decided to Google English's funniest words and picked out my favorites-

Discombobulated: To throw into a state of confusion.

Lollygaggers: A lazy person, a slacker, or someone who lollygags.

Brouhaha: A noisy and overexcited critical response, mess."

Batrachomyomachy: The act of making a mountain out of a molehill.

So amazing words! Wooo!

I put so many references to actually count! So point them out and party hard! Please review despite the fact I was so late about posting this! Thanks to all the people who favorited and added me to alerts!

_Jessica- Thanks! I was lmao-ing too!_

_**deeb0123456789**__- Same here! I just love her and wish she was given more credit in the series! Oh wells…Hopefully one day she will be bad ass again!_

Love you guys! Again hope you enjoyed, please review and I am so sorry this took forever to come out! (At least it was in a couple months of the last one instead of a couple years!)


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